1. Jeff GordonEsquire ran a picture of his driver's license. His name is spelled "Jeffery" on the license, which is a heck of a lot better than "Geoffery."

2 Jimmie Johnson Darrell Waltrip called him the "Peyton Manning of NASCAR," basically bemoaning the fact that Johnson has failed to win the title despite several close calls. Which is ridiculous, D.W., even if you didn't mean it in that context. Plus, he isn't near as ugly as Manning.

3 Kurt Busch He got married last weekend. Not sure if it was a night wedding or what. If he arrives at Indy without a huge sunburn, it was a night wedding.

4 Jeff Burton Race fans, text "31" for the Cingular poll question this week and win Jeff Burton's rarely-used Cingular hat. This week’s poll:
Why did Tony Stewart apologize after Pocono?
1. Realized Carl is out of playoffs, might pay him back
2. That Clint Bowyer can look pretty mean when he wants to
3. He felt better (and remorseful) after dinner
4. All of the above

5 Kyle Busch He says he lost his lucky sunglasses. How can you lose something so big?

6 Kevin Harvick DeLana has been taking off her hat. Never underestimate the power of Power Rankings.

7 Matt Kenseth The bad news: He hasn't learned how to kiss his wife with his eyes shut in Victory Lane. The good news: He makes it to Victory Lane a lot. More practice.

8 Greg Biffle OK. Was in Subway on Sunday. Got behind a soccer mom that came in with 15 hungry kids. 15. And asks for 15 Kids' Packs. And they take two minutes a pack to prepare. Like Mikey says, do the math.

9 Denny Hamlin According to Joe Gibbs Racing legend/rumor, this actually happened last weekend: At Gateway, Hamlin's Busch guys played a little joke on him. They told Denny to go find a left-handed screwdriver in the tool box. He looked puzzled and said, "Really, do they make those? Does it look different than a normal screwdriver?"

10 Tony Stewart Heard on the drive to the airport after Pocono:
Zipadelli: What happened in Turn 1 with Bowyer?
Stewart: I was minding my own business, eating a 99-cent Crispy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's, when I saw a unicorn. I swerved to miss the unicorn and I got into the 07.
Zipadelli: Wait a minute. There's a 99-cent Crispy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's? d

11 Mark Martin There's a crazy rumor that he might try to buy out Robert Yates' team. Now, that wouldn't work. What would the announcers say? "Matt Martin has that Mark Martin Racing power under the hood?"

12 Kasey Kahne Report: Kahne marries woman he met on Allstate commercial set, becomes immediate stepdad to three teenagers.

13 Dale Earnhardt Jr. He has a real chance to score his third consecutive last-place finish. That would make him the first man in the modern era to do this. Actually, we don’t know that for sure, but it sure sounds smart.

14 J.J. Yeley He is scheduled to give media rides at Indianapolis on Friday for one hour ... or until he wrecks, whichever comes first.


15 Brian Vickers Judging by how he runs Pocono, it won't be a shocker if he wins Indianapolis. Which would be good for Toyota. It would actually give them a driver who actually won a race the previous season.

16 Carl Edwards He has some pretty bad comments about Tony Stewart after Pocono, mainly calling him a "jerk." Edwards then tried to attribute the derogatory comments to Overactive Adrenaline Disorder.

17 Ryan Newman He needs his own song. Badly. Let's take a crack at it.
I loooooove Ryan Newman/So put another dime in the jukebox baby

18 Jamie McMurray Benny Parsons, get well man. Here's hoping you'll be saying "MacMary" for a long time.

19 Scott Riggs Report: Evernham Motorsports announces plan to clone Kenny Francis, use him to run all three teams.

20 Casey Mears With Montoya and Stremme on the team next year, I'm wondering: Are the fabricators happy to have job security or angry at all the extra work?

21 Martin Truex Jr. He has really gotten more consistent lately. He has more points in the last six races than Mark Martin, Tony Stewart and Derrike Cope.

22 Bobby Labonte If you don't think he didn't enjoy racing, consider this: He ran the Grand Am race in Birmingham last weekend. And it wasn't 72 degrees and sunny.

23 Reed Sorenson He has only made about $80,000 more than Stremme this year. With one more start. Weird.

24 Elliott Sadler Report: Robert Yates Racing's janitorial crew released.

25 Clint Bowyer Report: Bowyer considered body-slamming Stewart, was worried he'd permanently damage his back

The Power Rankings are written by Ryan Smithson and the opinions listed here are solely those of the writer. To email Ryan about the Rankings, click here.

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Go Junior Go. Go Smoke Go.

The power rankings are hilarious this week!

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Go Junior Go. Go Smoke Go.

You are so right Smoke, especially the one about Stewart. That was hilarious.

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Go Junior Go. Go Smoke Go.

10 Tony Stewart Heard on the drive to the airport after Pocono:
Zipadelli: What happened in Turn 1 with Bowyer?
Stewart: I was minding my own business, eating a 99-cent Crispy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's, when I saw a unicorn. I swerved to miss the unicorn and I got into the 07.
Zipadelli: Wait a minute. There's a 99-cent Crispy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's?
[/quote]
Has anyone actually had this chicken sandwich? Is it good? Should I go get one?

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Go Junior Go. Go Smoke Go.

12 Kasey Kahne Report: Kahne marries woman he met on Allstate commercial set, becomes immediate stepdad to three teenagers.

One of the poor little Kasey peep on his fan forum thought this was for real. Poor little thing was all upset.

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Ohmigosh, that's soooo hilarious!

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Go Junior Go. Go Smoke Go.