Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
WARNING DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the Wife1.0 operating system.
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day, the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me,too! You know, I've heard that you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels; in fact, he feels GREAT!!! NO hangover! No side effects, nothing!!! Then the phone rings... it's Jim. Jim says" Hey! How do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says" I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff--no hangover, nothing...we ought to do this more often."
FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat ... Been out a while.
Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.
AND THE BEST ONE :
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes
Excellent condition
$1,000 or best offer
No longer needed, got married last month.
Wife knows everything
__________________
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~LOL~ I found it for you WV!! The search navigation button at the top of each page is a most handy tool! Thanks for posting in this thread again, as I am sure some of our new members have never seen it!
YOU ROCK WV!!
__________________
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There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when she happened
upon a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours
since her last meal, she flew down and began to eat. She ate and ate and
ate. Finally, she decided she had eaten enough and tried to fly away.
She had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As she
looked around wondering what to do now, she spotted a pitchfork leaning
up against the wall. She climbed to the top of the handle and jumped
off, thinking that once she got airborne, she would be able to take
flight. Unfortunately she was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting
when she hit the floor. Dead. The moral to the story is: Never fly off the
handle when you know you're full of s**t.
__________________ Auto racing, bull fighting and mountain climbing are the only real sports... the rest are just games........ Earnest Hemmingway
Last edited by mrsmopar12 : 10-20-2007 at 10:43 PM.
>A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his
>computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that
he
>would now need to choose and enter a password. Something he will use
to log on.
>The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for
the
shock
>effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer
asked
>him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that
he
was keying in
>"p..e..n..i..s".
>.
>.
>.
>.
>.
>.
>His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
>***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
__________________ Auto racing, bull fighting and mountain climbing are the only real sports... the rest are just games........ Earnest Hemmingway
A drunk stumbles into a baptismal service on Sunday
> > > afternoon down by the river. He walks down into the
> > > water and stands next to the preacher.
> > >
> > > The minister turns and notices the old drunk and
> > > says,
> > > "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
> > >
> > > The drunk replies, "Yesh, Your Honor, I shur am!"
> > >
> > > The minister dunks the fellow under the water and
> > > pulls
> > > him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" he asked.
> > >
> > >
> > > "Nooo, Your Highness, I shur dint!" says the drunk.
> > > The
> > > preacher then dunks him under for a bit longer,
> > > brings
> > > him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found
> > > Jesus?"
> > >
> > > "Noooo, Your Majesty, I shur dint!" the drunk slurs
> > > again.
> > >
> > > Disgusted, the preacher holds the man under for at
> > > least
> > > 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water
> > > and says
> > > in a harsh tone, "My good man, have you found Jesus
> > > YET?"
> > >
> > > The drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher,
> > > "Are
> > > you sure this is where he fell in?"
__________________ Auto racing, bull fighting and mountain climbing are the only real sports... the rest are just games........ Earnest Hemmingway
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making
dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to
tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at
school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to
get a bike for his birthday.
Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.
Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect
on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think
about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell
him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to
write God a letter.
Letter 1: Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I
would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Leroy
Leroy knew that wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2: Dear God, I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still
would really like a bike for my birthday.
Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote a
third letter.
Letter 3: God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am
very sorry. I will be a good boy if you send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you, Leroy
Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get
him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his
mom that he wanted to go to church.
Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very
sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Leroy's mother told him.
Leroy walked down the street to the Catholic church on the corner.
Little
Leroy went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to to make
certain no one was there. Then Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of
the
Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down
the street, into his house, and up to his room.
He sat down with a piece of paper and a pen, and Leroy began to write his
letter to God.
Letter 4: God, I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,
SEND THE BIKE. Signed, YOU KNOW WHO.
__________________ Auto racing, bull fighting and mountain climbing are the only real sports... the rest are just games........ Earnest Hemmingway
Re-vive the lost Joke thread
So here's a new one.
Linear Mode
