Obviously these are not real rules, but I found this somewhere else and found them pretty funny.

New Nascar Rules


* After each caution, the car will run the opposite way ... caution - clockwise - caution - counter clockwise - caution - clockwise ... etc.

* Earnhardt, Jr., has to drive with a passenger ... preferably a sumo wrestler ... for extra weight.

* Potty pit stops during a half time.

* No more champagne in Victory Lane. A special Jeff Gordon whine will be used.

* The 'wider is better' Pontiac will be narrowed since NASCAR has discovered the reason Pontiac widened the car was to accommodate Tony Stewart's ego.

* Races will be shortened to 7 laps so Rusty Wallace can finish on the lead lap on at least one time this season.

* There will be a 15 minute half time break so Tony Stewart can get a snack ... better make it a 30 minutes.

* Cars with handicapped plates shall pit in specially marked blue pit stalls.

* Depends Undergarments announced it will sponsor a car for the 2002 season. For the betterment of the sport, NASCAR forbids Dick Trickle to be named the owner.

* To ward off an approaching sexual discrimination lawsuit, NASCAR mandates at least one member of each sexuality will be represented on each team ... Male, Female and Jeff Gordon.

* Top speed is out! The cars starting positions will depend on how pretty the car is. If it's ugly they will vote on who gets provisionals, the ugliest car goes home.

* The winner of a race will be determined by who picked the winner in NASCAR ROCKS ... if no one picked a winner, straws will be drawn ... the straw draw also holds true for second on back.

* Because of Political Correctness, no discrimination against the handicapped will be permitted. This shall be called the Jeff Gordon Rule.

They are pretty good - I really like the one about the Jeff Gordon Whine.

These are really funny. Is there really someone called Dick Trickle

That made me giggle as well

Wouldn't you want to change your name so you wouldn't get the mick taken out of you

Those are pretty good, seems like there are always some Jeff Gordon jokes in there too. I am not a 24 fan anyway...

If they changed the rules mandating the races to not be boring, and the tracks to not be a big oval, that would be neat to see.

I will warn you once about your intentions here

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you guys dont remember dick trickle!! wow i feel so old.. i've been watching nascar since 1994, dick trickle was a busch driver hes older... i remember his son cole trickle was a star in Winter Heat.. until someone drove him off the road and killed him on purpose... anyone else remember this?? bring back winter heat!!

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Hendrick Power and Ginn Racing and Aric Almirola!

Instead of that "Special Jeff Gordon Whine" lets use a "Special Jimmie Johnson Whine". He looks like a whiner to me.

hmm i haven't heard either of them whine.. but Gordon would be the one to do it over Johnson

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Hendrick Power and Ginn Racing and Aric Almirola!